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Giving Thanks for Family Meals

Many people count Thanksgiving as their favorite holiday, maybe because the concept is simple: gather together with family and friends to share good food and good times.

Being conscious of the “good” that we enjoy is also part of the package. Whether it’s a formal grace passed down through generations, or an off-the-cuff compliment to the chef, on this occasion we are likely to look around the table and take stock of what we have. Peace, plenty, or some approximation of that. Our table may not be ideal, but we are sitting around it looking forward to something delicious.

This gathering and feasting sounds a lot like an expanded version of the everyday family meal. Or, looked at another way, regular meals are mini-Thanksgivings. In both the mini- and the mega- version, we take a break from the workday routine, get together, catch up, eat something good, and think about what we have.

Here is the news: it turns out that feeling grateful is even good for us – at least as good as the brussel sprouts and the cranberries. In recent years, a science of gratitude has emerged. There are academic conferences, books, articles, theories and advice. A leading researcher in the field, Robert Emmons, writes, “…grateful people experience higher levels of positive emotions such as joy, enthusiasm, love, happiness, and optimism…the practice of gratitude as a discipline protects a person from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment, greed, and bitterness.” According to research, it doesn’t matter if you are objectively well off or not; if your health is top notch or poor. Just maintaining an attitude of gratitude can help you get more out of life.

How to achieve this state? In addition to keeping gratitude journals and being more conscious of the gifts we have, Emmons counsels, “Go through the motions…..Do it now, and the feeling will come……Get a person to perform a behavior, and, with some exceptions, their feelings will fall into line.” Give yourself opportunities to experience and express gratitude.

Which is an important lesson we can take from Thanksgiving and apply to our everyday meals. Schedule the meal and expect people to show up. Make it feel special. Prepare good food, and expect to have a good time. And be thankful for what you have.

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