Making Time for Meals
If you want to see your values written out in black and white, just have a look at your calendar. What gets written in first? What appears again and again? What happens with such regularity that you never even think to write it down?
It would be nice if things flowed naturally; if our family showed up at the welcoming family table at the end of the day without anyone having to say a thing, but for many of us, in real life, if you want something to happen, you have to create the time, place, and expectations that make it possible.
Let’s say you would like to have regular family meals but, for whatever reason, it isn’t happening. A good first step is to just make a time. Literally. Name the hour. Let your family know what that time is, and that they are expected to be there. Then start scheduling things around that commitment, instead of trying to squeeze in the occasional meal around other classes, meetings, etc. etc.
Obviously, you will soon begin bumping up against other activities – things that you want to do, things that you have to do, things that your kids are making a good case for doing.
When you’re making these day-to-day decisions, it helps to think of your long-term goals, and how likely it is that the activity in question will move you farther along that path.
Is having a strong, functional family that enjoys each other’s company an important goal? How about helping your kids to feel secure about themselves, giving them a solid place in the world, helping them in terms of nutrition, language, attitudes toward food? These thoughts should help you make, and keep, room in your schedule for family meals.
And don’t forget your short term goals. How about having a bit of a break at the end of the day – a time to relax and enjoy each other? Having a family meal can take a load off your mind. You know that everyone will connect, catch up, find out what’s new. You will see what your kids are eating, and they will see what you are eating as well, making it easier for them to enjoy a variety of foods. You will have a ready-made excuse to get together; something to share.
Don’t worry if you can’t do every night. Make a start; do what is comfortable for your family, then ask them to stretch a little.
Most of all, don’t be shy about what you’re doing. Let your friends and workmates know that dinnertime is important to your family. Enlist other parents and school officials in the goal of keeping schedules family-friendly. You will be doing a service for everyone.
Then have a look at your calendar. Here’s hoping it reflects your family’s hopes and dreams.
Eating meals together makes those dreams a part of our normal life every day.